Emotional intelligence is a person's ability to manage their own emotions and understand the emotions of those around them.

The more emotionally intelligent a person is, the easier it is for them to get along with others and de-escalate tense situations. On the other hand, a lack of emotional intelligence can negatively impact a person's ability to maintain good working relationships with others.

The ability to understand and manage emotions is a high-demand skill in most organizations. People who have emotional intelligence tend to be better problem solvers, communicators, and leaders. They also tend to make more balanced decisions instead of allowing their choices to be swayed by how they feel. Research shows that employees with higher emotional intelligence are more likely to receive promotions, earn higher salaries, and experience greater job satisfaction throughout their careers.

If you want to become a more valued employee and increase your opportunities for upward growth, here's how to have more emotional intelligence at work.

Become More Self-Aware

Self-awareness is crucial for developing your emotional intelligence (EI) in any area of your life, including at work. If you don't understand your own emotions, how can you expect to learn how they impact your decisions and working relationships? To become more self-aware, check in with yourself throughout the workday. Pay attention to how you're feeling and honestly analyze whether your current emotions are impacting your professional actions and decisions.

Start by keeping an emotion journal where you track your feelings at different points during the day. Note what triggers certain emotions and how they affect your productivity and interactions with colleagues. This practice helps you identify patterns in your emotional responses and recognize early warning signs when you might be heading toward an unproductive emotional state.

Another effective self-awareness technique is to ask for feedback from trusted colleagues or supervisors. Sometimes others can see our emotional blind spots more clearly than we can. When receiving feedback, resist the urge to become defensive and instead view it as valuable information for your professional growth.

If you find this exercise to be challenging, you may need some outside help learning how to identify your emotions. A trained therapist can help you become more self-aware by teaching you how to examine your own thoughts and feelings. They can also help you identify emotionally guided behavior patterns you never knew you had. If you're not sure whether therapy can fit into your busy lifestyle, try getting therapy online. It's convenient, affordable, and fits seamlessly into most people's busy schedules.

Prioritize Communication

Good communication is a hallmark of emotional intelligence. Being able to express your emotions (especially negative ones) with calmness and control is crucial in a professional space. Remember, communication isn't just about the person who's doing the talking. It's also about listening to others and watching out for your co-worker's non-verbal communication cues. Often, you can learn more about how a person genuinely feels by how they act rather than by what they say.

Active listening is a cornerstone of emotionally intelligent communication. This means giving your full attention to the speaker, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting back what you've heard to ensure understanding. When someone is sharing concerns or frustrations, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions. Sometimes people simply need to feel heard and understood before they're ready to work on problem-solving.

When establishing emotionally intelligent communication skills at work, learn how to use the words "I" and "we." The word "you" can sound combative and accusatory, especially in work settings. For example, rather than saying, "You need to work on getting orders out on time," try saying, "We need to work on getting orders out on time." Then, suggest ways to do that in a non-confrontational way.

Additionally, pay attention to your tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. These non-verbal elements often communicate more than your words do. Maintain open body posture, make appropriate eye contact, and speak in a calm, measured tone even when discussing challenging topics.

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Practice Self-Regulation

Self-regulation can spell the difference between a reactive, "loose cannon" at work and a calm, collected professional who doesn't let unexpected problems derail them.

To practice self-regulation, force yourself to pause between feeling an emotion and taking action on that emotion. Pausing to think through how you're feeling and how you should respond can help you avoid making snap decisions. People who are emotionally dysregulated are more likely to behave reactively. This type of behavior leads to outcomes that are rarely in their best interest or the best interest of their coworkers and managers.

Develop specific techniques for managing intense emotions in the moment. Deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or taking a brief walk can help you regain composure when facing stressful situations. Some professionals find it helpful to have a go-to phrase they use to buy time, such as "Let me think about that for a moment" or "That's an interesting point – can we circle back to this in a few minutes?"

It's also important to recognize your emotional triggers and develop strategies for managing them proactively. If you know that tight deadlines make you anxious and short-tempered, build in extra buffer time when possible and communicate early about potential delays rather than waiting until the last minute.

Develop Empathy

Empathy is quickly becoming a rare jewel in today's self-centered, "me first" society. Unfortunately, you can't build emotional intelligence without being empathetic to the feelings of those around you.

To practice empathy in the workplace, show sincere interest in the dreams, needs, and concerns of your coworkers. Be willing to listen, then demonstrate a willingness to help them however you can. Whenever possible, put yourself in other people's shoes and try not to be too harsh or judgmental. These skills will help you build rapport and collaborate more effectively with coworkers.

Cultivating empathy requires conscious effort and practice. Make an effort to learn about your colleagues' work challenges, personal goals, and communication preferences. When conflicts arise, try to understand the underlying needs and concerns driving each person's position rather than focusing solely on the surface-level disagreement.

Remember that empathy doesn't mean agreeing with everyone or compromising your own values. It simply means acknowledging and validating others' feelings and perspectives, even when you disagree with their conclusions or actions.

Manage Stress

It's hard to be empathetic to others when you're so emotionally overloaded that you can barely function. Too much stress can cause emotional intelligence to plummet and force a person into survival mode. This is the body's response to a real or perceived danger. It involves the activation of stress-response systems and the release of stress hormones.

If it's not addressed, excess stress can eventually lead to burnout. This is a state of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion often related to overwhelm at work. To manage stress at work, take regular breaks throughout the day, practice good time management skills, and set clear boundaries. You may also need to talk with your manager about lightening your workload if you're constantly being overburdened at work. These conversations can be hard, but they're a key indication of emotional intelligence.

Establish healthy habits that support your emotional well-being both at work and outside of it. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition all contribute to your ability to manage emotions effectively. Consider incorporating mindfulness practices or meditation into your daily routine to build your capacity for staying calm under pressure.

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Conclusion

Emotional intelligence is a critical skill for all employees within an organization. Many hiring managers understand this and specifically look for people who exhibit markers of high EI during the interview process. Studies consistently show that technical skills alone are not enough for long-term career success – the ability to work well with others and navigate complex interpersonal dynamics is equally important.

If you're currently an emotionally reactive person, try incorporating the above tips into your life. They'll help you gain greater control over your emotional reactivity and become a more level-headed, valued employee. Remember that developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process, not a destination. With consistent practice and self-reflection, you can significantly improve your ability to understand and manage emotions in the workplace, leading to better relationships, increased job satisfaction, and enhanced career opportunities.

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